


Of Playgrounds and Lonely Hearts

by lost_sunsets



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-08
Updated: 2012-08-09
Packaged: 2017-11-11 17:04:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/480839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_sunsets/pseuds/lost_sunsets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quinn and Rachel have been best friends since kindergarten who eventually fall in love. But their relationship among their peers have always been rocky, causing them to be teased, mocked and ridiculed. When Quinn moves, Rachel's life turns for the worse. That is until the blonde returns for High School. Is she the same loving girl as before or is she a former friend turned bully?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Promises

The day was warm and sunny, and a five year old blonde got out of the car with her parents. Walking up to the classroom, sounds of other children laughing and having fun already made her anxious to join. Before walking in though, her father knelt down in front of her, placed a strong hand on her shoulder and said, “Now, Quinn. I want you to be on your best behavior, make new friends, and learn new things. Do not get into trouble, hear me? Make me proud. After all, you’re a Fabray.”

She bit her lip and nodded furiously. “Yes, Daddy, I understand. I’ll make you proud.”

Smiling in approval, he stood up and motioned her to go in. The heavy wooden door closed behind her and she stood there alone taking in the scene of her fellow classmates. Boys were chasing each other and girls were talking happily about this and that. The teacher a blonde, young girl sat at her desk going over papers. And in a corner, all by herself with a coloring book and crayons sat a brunette with pigtails and a gold star on her backpack.

She looked over at the girls then at the boys, trying to decide whom she should join. Her gaze fell upon the girl coloring by herself and Quinn felt her heart drop at the sight, she didn’t understand why, but something was tugging at her to go over. Gripping the straps of her bag she walked over with her head held high and stood next to where she was sitting. She saw the girl tense up and lift her head slowly. “Hi,” Quinn smiled and waited for the girl to say something.

The brunette smiled timidly and replied, “Hello.”

“My name’s Quinn. Quinn Fabray. What’s your name?”

“Um…Rachel Berry.” She sounded unsure and confused.

“Berry? That’s a weird name.” The blonde giggled.

“Yeah, I guess it’s different, but so is ‘Fabray’.” Both girls shared a smile.

Then Quinn chewed on the corner of her lip and motioned to her coloring books and crayons. “Um…do you…do you mind if I join you? You looked lonely and no one should be lonely on the first day of school.” Quinn looked hopeful and awaited the girl’s decision.

“Sure!”

A huge smile broke out on both girls’ faces as Quinn put down her bag and sat in the chair next to Rachel. For the next hour, the girls shared stories of their family and talked about what activities they enjoyed. And when Rachel mentioned she loved to sing and that she was going to be on Broadway one day, Quinn smiled. “So you’ll be a star and I’ll write about and take pictures of you to put into the newspaper, then everyone will know how great you are.”

“Promise?”

Nudging her shoulder with her own, she promised. “Yes, I promise.”

The teacher clapped her hands together and told everyone that it was time to start. She told them to get into pairs and sit at the desks in the middle of the room. Quinn instantly grabbed Rachel’s hand and led her to the two desks in the front row. The teacher smiled at the pair and began to teach the lesson she had prepared for the first day. When the bell rang for lunch, Quinn took out her lunch box and waited for Rachel to get hers out. She then took her hand and they joined the others in the line to go to the lunchroom.

“Where do you want to sit Rachel?” Quinn asked upon arrival.

“Do you think we can sit by the window? It’s a nice day, and I like the sunshine.”

Nodding, Quinn led Rachel to the table by the window while her other classmates sat at surrounding tables. Sitting down, Quinn took out her juice box, peanut butter sandwich, an apple and some carrot sticks. Looking across the table she saw Rachel had a similar lunch but with a banana on her peanut butter sandwich instead of honey, a water bottle, and an assortment of vegetables.

Smiling they ate their lunch and then it was time for recess. The time of the day Rachel had been dreading since arriving first thing this morning. Some of the kids have already made comments about Rachel and her dads, and she knew that their parents had told them to stay away from her. That was why she was sitting alone in the first place, that was until Quinn had walked in and befriended her instantly, all because she was alone. And now it was time for recess and she knew that Quinn would want to play soccer with the boys, she had mentioned earlier that she like to play soccer.

Walking outside to the playground Rachel waited for Quinn to take off and go play with the boys, but the girl still held her hand and stood there with Rachel. Confused, Rachel turned to look at Quinn who smiled softly at her. “Aren’t you going to go play soccer with some of the boys?” Rachel asked.

“Why would I want to play with them when I can play with you?”

Rachel was about to answer when a small Latina girl accompanied by a blonde and a boy with a mohawk walked up to them. “Look who it is, it’s Big Nose. How’s it going ugly,” the boy laughed and the girls joined him. Quinn looked over at Rachel who was trying to hold in her tears.

“How are your perverted fathers?” The Latina asked, and it was followed by more laughter.

“Look at you, you don’t have any friends, and can’t sing! You’re such a loser!” The boy laughed and shoved her to the ground, scrapping her elbows and ripping her hand from Quinn’s.

Tears blurred her vision and with a look at her tormentors she got up and took off running. Quinn furrowed her brows. What just happened? Why were they making fun of her? Rachel was the nicest person she’s ever met. After witnessing what transpired in front of her, she heard her father’s voice echo in her ears, make me proud. Summoning her courage she turned to look at the three children and asked in a dangerous voice, “What is wrong with you guys? She didn’t do anything to you.”

“She’s breathing. That’s enough,” the boy answered.

“You’re lucky my father told me to never hit anyone,” the blonde got into his face.

“What are you, her girlfriend?”

“No! I’m Quinn Fabray, her best friend and if you come anywhere near her ever again, you’ll get it. I promise you that.”

The boy visibly gulped and walked away with the two girls trailing behind him. Taking a shaky breath the blonde turned around, eyes scanning for the girl. When she couldn’t see her, she ran off in the same direction she fled. “Rachel?” She called out. “Rachel? Where are you?” She was about to turn around and go look the other way but she was stopped when she heard a sniffle. Following the noise, Quinn crouched down and saw the girl with her knees to her chest and her head buried in her knees. She was sitting on the sand beneath the plastic coated floor of the playground set, hidden in the shadows.

Crawling on her hands and knees she reached the girl and sat right beside her. The brunette was still crying but not as hard as before. “Rachel?” The girl continued to cry. “Don’t listen to them Rachel. You’re beautiful and your nose is the perfect size. I haven’t heard you sing, but I’m willing to bet that you can sing like the angels. Everything they said was wrong, Rachie. And they’re stupid idiots who don’t know what they’re talking about. Cause we’re friends, right?”

Rachel sniffled and looked up to meet Quinn’s hazel eyes. “W-we are?”

“Yeah, you’re my best friend.”

Rachel smiled a bright smile and threw herself into Quinn’s arms, Rachel’s arms locked around the blonde’s shoulders and her head fell into the crook of the other girl’s neck. And the girl only cried harder into the blonde’s neck. Rubbing her back, Quinn held the girl in her arms. “Please don’t cry anymore, Rachie. I’ll protect you from the stupid boys and girls. They won’t hurt you anymore. Not while I’m around.


	2. First Fights and First Kisses

The years passed by and the girls grew more and more close. Both sets of parents were supportive of the girls’ friendship they’ve developed on that first day of Kindergarten. When Quinn had gone home after that first day, she had told her parents all about the day from where she sat next to the Rachel to what happened at recess and how she had stood up for the smaller girl. And after she told her parents Russell got down on one of his knees and grabbed the girl’s shoulders, and she had prepared herself for a scolding, but instead he wrapped his arms around his daughter and hugged her tight. He then whispered in her ear, “I’ve never been more proud of you, Quinnie.”

That had been three years ago, and now in the third grade, Quinn and Rachel sat on the swings during recess talking about their plans for their annual slumber party when the mohawk boy, named Puck walked up to Quinn and asked, “So, Fabray, wanna be my girlfriend?”

Quinn raised an eye brow and said, “Not a chance, Puckerman.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t.”

“Why because you’re already the loser’s girlfriend?”

Rachel stopped swinging and her gaze fell to her lap. Looking from Rachel to Puck, Quinn’s blood boiled with anger, turning back to Puck she stood up and blocked the boys view from the brunette. “Don’t call her that! And for the record, I’d rather be her girlfriend than yours!”

A small smile landed on the brunette’s face at the confession, but it was wiped away when a slightly bigger boy came running up behind her and shoved her off the swing. She fell forward and fell on top of Quinn. The two boys snickered and Quinn turned and cupped Rachel’s face. “Are you alright,” she asked checking for injuries. The girl nodded and even though her knees were both bleeding from the concrete.

Quinn helped the girl up then looked at the boy who shoved her best friend. Her eyes threw daggers at the boy and she clenched and unclenched her fists. Why won’t they just leave her and Rachel alone? So what if they were best friends. It’s not anyone else’s business. “I suggest you apologize before I make you.” She threatened.

“Can’t fight your own battles dyke?” Karofsky chuckled throwing a hateful look to the brunette.

Quinn didn’t even register the pain in her hand as she threw a punch at his face. “Leave her alone!” She yelled as the boy dropped to the ground caressing his eye. She took a step forward and stood over the boy.

“Quinn!” Rachel sprung forward and stood between the boy and her friend. “Stop, it’s okay, I’m fine.”

“But you’re not fine! He hurt you and called you a bad name. He deserves it.”

Shaking her head the brunette gently unclenched the blonde’s fist and held softly unto her bloodied bruised right hand. “No, he doesn’t.”

“How can you be so calm about this? He pushed you and teased you. He should get another black eye.”

Sighing, Rachel was about to answer when their teacher, a tall man with blue eyes, showed up accompanied by Puck. “What is going on here?” Looking at Karofsky then at the blonde’s hand he firmly said, “You three to the Principal’s office right now, you too Noah.”

Sitting in the Principal’s office the two girls never released each other’s hand. Rachel had told the middle-aged woman what had happened and judging by the guilty looks on both of the boys faces, she knew the young brunette was telling the truth. “Noah, David, stay behind. Rachel, accompany Quinn to the Nurse’s office, while I call your parents to come get you.”

Nodding, Rachel took the blonde’s uninjured hand and led her down the hall to the Nurse’s office. “Don’t be so smug, Quinn. You could’ve gotten into some serious trouble,” Rachel chastised.

“Yeah, but I didn’t. I didn’t because I was defending you, like always.”

Stopping in the hallway, Rachel turned around to look at Quinn. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Rachel looked confused and hurt by Quinn’s statement.

“Nothing.” Quinn sighed and tried to move past her friend, Rachel wouldn’t let her. Giving Quinn a sad look, the blonde knew she wasn’t going to get out of this. So she took a deep breath and cradled her injured hand. “It’s just we wouldn’t have problems if you weren’t…”

Rachel felt tears welling up in her eyes, but she just waited until the blonde said it. She knew it was only a matter of time before her own best friend got sick of her. People always got sick of her sooner or later. But she can’t help it, she is who she is. She rambles about things she passionate about, talks about Broadway and Barbara non-stop, but that was because she was raised on it and Broadway was her dream. Shoving the tears down, she promised herself that no matter what she wasn’t going to show Quinn her tears. “Go ahead. Say it,” she said, then congratulated her voice for not cracking.

Quinn didn’t know what came over her, but between the pain in her hand and the pounding of a headache behind her eyes she said it. “If you weren’t such a freak!” Quinn regretted it the second she opened her mouth. The look on her best friend’s face was enough for her to want to kill herself.

No matter how hard she tried to not show her emotions Rachel’s tears leaked out of her eyes and trailed down her cheeks. Biting her lip to keep from breaking down, Rachel’s heart dropped to her stomach. Steadying herself the best she could, Rachel looked into the blonde’s eyes and said, “I’m sorry I’m such a burden to you Quinn. And since I’m too much of a freak for you, then it’ll be best if we don’t be friends anymore. So I no longer need or want you to stand up for me since it’s obviously such an inconvenience for you to. I hope your hand isn’t broken and heals fast.” Rachel began to walk away from her former friend.

Quinn didn’t hesitate to run after her. “No! Rachel, please! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it!” She caught up and reached for her hand, only to have to see it being ripped from her reach.

“You did, though! I saw it in your eyes! And I don’t know what’s worse, believing that you were different, or seeing that you’re just like them!”

“Rachel, please. I’m not like them. You know me; you know that I’m not. I don’t know what came over me. Please, Rachel. Please. I need you. Tell me what to do to make for this, I’ll do anything. Rachel, you’re the only friend I have.”

“So you can understand why that killed me. Because you’re the first and only friend I’ve ever had. And then you called me a “freak” and it felt like my heart broke into a million tiny pieces, because you’re my best friend, and when you said that you were just like the others.” She then ran down the hall before Quinn could do anything else.

When her dad arrived they took Quinn to the ER to get her hand checked out and on the ride to the hospital Quinn confessed to what happened and why her hand was messed up. And although Russell was proud of her for standing up for the brunette, there was shear disappointment in his eyes as he look at Quinn. He saw the way the brunette looked up to his daughter. She was her hero, and then to be called a ‘freak’ by her hero, no doubt the girl was entirely broken hearted.

Looking over at the blonde in the passenger seat he saw tears running down his daughter’s eyes as she stared out the window. Sighing, he pulled the car over on the side of the road, put it in park, and then turned to give her his full attention. “Quinn.” His voice was gentle and full of fatherly concern. Sniffling, she met his gaze. “I love you, Quinn. And I’m proud of you. I’ll always be proud of you, but you really hurt Rachel’s feelings. So, yes, I’m a little angry with you for that, but I’m always on your side. So, talk to me. Tell me what you want to do to make it up to Rachel and regain her friendship.”

Wiping her eyes she avoided Russell’s eyes. “I-I didn’t mean to. It just slipped out, my head and my hand were in so much pain and Dave and Puck irritated me. I just snapped.”

“I know these things happen,” he said understandably.

“I need her, Daddy. She’s my best friend.” She started crying again and Russell leaned over the console and wrapped his arms around her. She cried into her father for a couple of minutes and then her cry turned into whimpers, and then eventually sniffles. Pulling apart she looked up and said, “I think I know of something that might work. Do you mind if we stop at Wal-Mart?”

He smiled at her and nodded. “We sure can.”

A trip to Wal-Mart and a quick trip home after, Quinn walked down the street with her back pack, and a glass of water. Walking up the steps to the house she lived at half the time, she raised her casted hand and rang the doorbell. Rachel knew the girl’s knock, and Quinn figured that if Rachel didn’t know who was at the door, then she would answer it. Sure enough, not two seconds passed when the door was swung open to reveal the smaller girl, already in her pajamas and her hair pulled back. She stood between the door and the door frame a firm grip on both. Yeah, she was still angry and hurt.

Quinn took a deep breath and offered her the glass of water. “I’m sorry, Rachie. I know you’re still mad at me, and you have every right to be. There’s a reason why I don’t have many friends, my dad said that it’s in our blood to hurt the ones we love, and that’s what I did to you. It’s not an excuse, nothing will excuse my behavior. But I figured you were upset so I brought you a glass of water.” Rachel slowly took it. “I also brought something that will hopefully make you feel better.” Shrugging off her bag, she unzipped it with one hand and dug around for what she was looking for. She pulled out some vegan chocolates. “I got you some of your favorite chocolate.” The brunette, startled, hesitantly took those from the girl. Quinn then went back to digging around in her bag. She pulled out a wrapped up gift and handed it to her best friend who was utterly confused.

“Quinn…”

“I truly am sorry, Rachel. And I know you probably don’t want to look at me anymore, so I’ll go now. I do hope you’ll forgive me.” Quinn stood up, shouldered her bag and turned around to walk back home.

Rachel placed the glass and chocolates on the table by the door and unwrapped the gift. Inside the wrapping was the special DVD edition of Funny Girl, what she had gone on and on about getting. Putting it down next to her other items Rachel ran out the door and chased the blonde. Thankfully she hadn’t made it far and Rachel called out, “Quinn! Wait!” The blonde froze but didn’t dare turn around.

Rachel walked up and made her way in front of the distraught blonde. She then wrapped her arms around the blonde and hugged her tenderly. “I’m sorry too, Quinn. I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry.”

The girls stood holding each other and when they did pull away Quinn brushed a piece of Rachel’s hair out of her eyes. “So, does this mean we can be best friends again?” Rachel nodded and kissed Quinn’s cheek. When her lips met her cheek, Quinn felt something warm shoot straight into her heart, it was as if everything snapped into place for the girl. She understood why she felt so broken after the girl walked away and so overwhelmingly happy when she came running back. Quinn sighed and stared into Rachel’s warm eyes.

Taking a leap of faith, Quinn stepped closer; brought her left hand up to cup Rachel’s face and moved her lips to Rachel’s. She was expecting her to jump back or shove her away, but what surprised her was that Rachel was leaning in too. And when their lips met for the first time, both girls knew that it sure as hell wouldn’t be the last.


	3. Together Again

Judy Fabray never thought her role as a mother would put her in this situation. Quinn had come home the next day after her annual sleep over with Rachel and told her what happened between them. And the first thing she felt was anger, anger followed by disgust and disappointment. She saw her daughter’s friendship with the brunette grow over the years, but she never thought her daughter would’ve kissed the girl; more than once. And up until now she had put up with the Berries and their lifestyle but having it rub off her own daughter was enough to send her over the edge. “I don’t want her being friends with that Berry girl anymore,” she argued with Russell.

“I don’t see what the big problem is, Judy. If she loves Rachel, then let her love the girl. She’s our daughter and we’re not forbidding her to stop being friends with her best friend. She’ll never forgive us,” Russell argued back calmly.

“She’ll get over it.”

“No, she won’t. We both know Quinn, she won’t get over it, and she’ll hate us both if we took her away from her best friend.”

“It’s a sin, Russell! I will not let our daughter end up in hell because of that girl.”

Russell sighed and sat down on the couch, his eyes met a pair of hazel eyes at the top of the staircase. Quinn’s eyes welled up with tears and he looked sadly at her before she got up and ran to her room.

Before she knew it, it was the end of fifth grade and she stood on her porch watching the movers move box after box into the truck. Her parents had gotten a divorce and her mother won the custody battle, so she was moving to North Carolina with her. The final boxes were being moved when a certain brunette came running up the grass and was standing shock still. Her big brown eyes full of tears.

The past few days were torture for the girls, Judy told Quinn to say her goodbyes at school and to focus on packing their belongings. And now as her best friend turned girlfriend stood looking so lost on her lawn she looked to her mom who gave her a sharp nod. Following the nod, Quinn jumped off the porch and ran up to the brunette. Quinn’s heart ached terribly when she saw the tears in her girlfriend’s eyes; all she wanted to do was wrap her up and promise not to leave her, but she could feel her mom’s piercing hazel eyes on her.

Rachel couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Without the blonde her life was going to be nothing. She won’t have anyone to talk to, no one to cry on, and no one to help her through the middle school years. If it hadn’t have been for Quinn, she would have never made it through all those years spent in elementary school, and she knew this are just going to become harder. And now standing here and staring into her hazel eyes that were currently green, she knew she was going to have a lot more cups of water.

“Quinn?” Rachel’s voice cracked although she had tried to hold her emotions in. “Please don’t go. I need you…I-I love you.”

Quinn’s heart only broke more at the confession. The past nights she hadn’t gotten any sleep just because of that: she loves Rachel. She loves her and she cried an endless amount of tears because her mom was taking her away from both her dad and the girl who captivated her heart from the beginning. All because of what? Because her mom was a homophobe and didn’t believe it was an appropriate lifestyle for her christen daughter? And now she stood here face to face with the brunette and seeing the girl like this, so broken hearted and distressed, she never hated her mom more.

“Rachel…I’m so sorry. If I had a choice I would stay here with you and my dad, but my mom, by some miracle, won the custody battle, and I’m sorry that I have to leave you.” Quinn stepped closer and ignored her mom’s cold glare. Placing her hands on the girl’s shoulders she ducked her head to make eye contact again. “But you have to listen to me and promise me something.” She whispered so that even though her mother was watching them, she couldn’t hear what they were saying.

“W-What?”

“Promise me that you’ll be strong. That you won’t let anybody tear you down and hurt you, especially me. I won’t be around anymore, and I don’t know if I’ll ever return, so you have to be strong. Hold your chin up high, Rachel Barbara Berry. Cause you’re better than everyone that tries to tear you down. You’re special, and not in the eating-the-glue kinda way. You have the most kind spirit and you know who you are, and don’t ever lose that. Rachel, I love you like no other and I will never forget you. If you promise me this, I will promise you that one day we’ll be together again. It may have to wait a while, but I’ll return to you one day. I love you, Rachel Berry, and that won’t ever change. So do we have a deal?”

Rachel shook away her tears and threw herself into Quinn’s arms and held unto her. She then whispered in her ear, “I promise, Quinn. I promise.”

Pulling away from the brunette she casted one of her crooked smiles and kissed the girl one last time before her mother walked up and tore her away from the brunette. And before Rachel could blink, the blonde was in the car and was been driven away.

Russell’s heart broke more so after witnessing what happened between her daughter and the other girl he considered family. Once his ex and daughter were out of sight he walked up to Rachel and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder to offer a sense of comfort. “Don’t worry, Rachel. She’ll be back soon enough. I know I’m just a dad, but I do hope you still know that you’re welcome over here anytime. You’re like another daughter to me and I’ll be more than happy to make hot chocolate and share updates about Quinn’s life with you,” he spoke softly.

Rachel was at a loss of words so she just wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. Russell was taken a back slightly but was quick to return the hug.

Sophomore year of high school, Rachel Berry was walking down the hall with her books clenched in front of her chest to offer some protection from the slushies that were bond to be thrown her way. She was rounding the corner and heard the voice of Santana Lopez, her school tormentor, chatting away with a new Head Cheerio. She had heard about the new girl, she didn’t catch her name but she heard that she had transferred from Fair Brooke after her mom passed away due to cancer. She now lived with her father who was a local doctor.

She barely had time to close her eyes before she felt the stinging cold pain from the slushy. Blinking her eyes open, she looked down and saw that today’s flavor had been blueberry. “Berry for a Berry, Manhands,” Santana sneered. Rachel looked at her and saw that she wasn’t holding the cup, but the new Head Cheerio was. And she had the face of someone she never thought she’d see again.

Her blonde hair high in a ponytail and her eyes still the soft hazel with a large amount of green. And her cross necklace around her neck. Her eyes held pure shock and regret at what she had just done. But before she could say anything laughter erupted from the hall and Rachel looked down at the floor and ran off to the nearest bathroom to clean up.

Standing in front of the sink she tried to catch her breath. This was all happening too fast for her. She couldn’t believe it, she was back; her childhood savior, her first and only friend, and the love of her life was back. And she had just tossed a blueberry slushy in her face with such ease. Tears were welling up in her eyes, but she wasn’t sure what to make of them. She just couldn’t stop them from rising and spilling over. Her heart leapt to her throat when the bathroom door opened and a flushed, dismantled blonde stood in front of the door that just slammed shut behind her.

Walking up to the brunette she turned her around and stared into her eyes. And that was when she knew for sure. Even through the blue slush still dripping from her face and hair, she recognized the girl. Her eyes and face were all she dreamed about for years. Bringing her hand up, she cupped her cheek, ignoring the cold ice on her palm she used the pad of her thumb to wipe some of the slush off. The brunette fluttered her eyes shut and the blonde said in the space between them, “R-Rachel? It’s me, Rachie. I told you I’d come back.”

Her angelic voice rang in Rachel’s ears and she took a breath and reopened her eyes. They landed on those soft anchors that tied her down and would make everything okay. They haven’t change, they still managed to wrap her in and hold her. Staring into each other’s eyes brought more tears to Rachel’s. “Quinn?”

Quinn nodded and broke out into a smile when the brunette jumped into her arms and wrapped her arms around the cheerleader’s slender neck. Quinn didn’t care that the girl was getting blue slush all over her uniform and that it was dripping down her neck and back. All that matter was that she had the girl of her dreams back in her arms.


	4. Heartbreak

After much hugging Quinn noticed that the smaller girl was slightly shivering due to the amount of slush still present on her tiny frame. Pulling up a chair, Quinn sat her down and tilted her head back and placed her brown locks in the sink. Turning on the faucet she tested the temperature with her fingers before resting on a nice warm setting. Shaking her head, Quinn apologized once again, “I’m so sorry I did this.”

“It’s alright, Quinn.”

“No it’s not, I should’ve never had that slushy in the first place.” She argued.

“Quinn, relax, it’s nothing I’m not used to…”

“You’ve been slushied before? How many times?” Quinn asked suddenly furious at the bullies at this school for throwing froze beverages at this small, warm, beautiful girl.

“I’ve lost count. Quinn, it’s okay. I’m used to it.”  
“You shouldn’t be used to it, Rachel. Why do you just let them bully you like this?”

“Look, I made you a promise that I’d be strong and not let anyone tear me down. And they don’t. I hold my head up high and just shrug it off. I’ll be out of this hell hole soon enough.”

Quinn finished washing the blue slushy out of her hair and handed her a towel to dry herself. Rachel sat up and washed her face clean of the syrup and sugar. She then stood and stepped in front of the new Cheerio. She then wrapped her arms around the blonde and held her tight. “I’m so glad you’re back,” she whispered against her neck. “I’ve been so lonely without you, Quinn.”

She nodded against her head and whispered into her ear, “I’ve been lonely without you as well. I’m sorry I had to leave like that.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

The bell screeched and caused the girls to jump apart from the sudden intrusion. Brushing a piece of hair back behind her ear, Rachel smiled shyly at the blonde. “So…what’s your first period?”

Quinn held up her finger and rummaged around in her messenger bag for her schedule. Finding the small paper she held it up in success and then looked at it. Furrowing her eyebrows, she said, “Um…Spanish with Mr. Shuester?”

The brunette beamed and took her hand. “I do too. Let’s go.” Quinn was quick to grab her bag before Rachel dragged her out of the bathroom and down the hall with the blonde. Quinn smiled at the girl that was leading her down the hall with her hand intertwined with hers. She never saw her get this excited about having a class together, but if she was honest with herself she was just as excited. The years spent without any contact with Rachel have been the worst years of her life and she was relieved to be back and have the brunette still as a friend.

Arriving in the classroom, Quinn saw, through the window in the door, that they were the last ones to enter. She dropped her hand and walked into the classroom, leaving Rachel standing there alone for a moment.

It turned out that the girls shared three classes before Lunch and in each one, sat by each other. And although Rachel silently begged Quinn to explain what happened that caused her to just drop her hand like that, the cheerleader remained silent. It was ten minutes before the bell was scheduled to ring when Rachel slid a folded up piece of paper over to the blonde. Quinn looked up from her notes and raised a perfectly sculptured eyebrow at the paper and slowly picked up the folded sheet and opened it silently.

Meet me for lunch? – R

Sighing, Quinn picked up her pen and scribbled her answer then slid it back to the singer. Rachel carefully opened it like she was dealing with something delicate that would break at her touch. Her heart dropped when she saw Quinn’s perfect handwriting with her response.

I can’t. I have a lunch date with my boyfriend. - Q

Furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, Rachel wrote down her next question. And what baffled her was the fact that Quinn had only been here a day, how could she have a boyfriend already?

Who’s your boyfriend? - R

He’s the quarterback, Finn Hudson. - Q

Rachel felt her heart fully sink as she read those words. And then the dreaded bell rang and classmates, her teacher, and Quinn collected their books and bags and made their way out of the classroom. Rachel hurriedly collected her things and ran out of the room after Quinn. She was so confused and needed Quinn to explain everything. She was so completely and utterly lost. But as she exited the room, her hand on the doorknob, she saw Quinn at her locker and the tall quarterback approach her.

Rachel felt her heart shatter as she witnessed Finn place his hand on Quinn’s lower back and whisper something intimately into her ear. It was as if Rachel was frozen in place, forced to watch the scene in front of her. Finn then wrapped his arm around Quinn’s shoulders, once she finished putting her books away, and the two walked down the hallway holding one another. Quinn was in love with Finn now, and once again Rachel was left behind.

Quinn’s heart panged in her chest as soon as she left Rachel behind in the classroom, she just couldn’t bare the look of heartbreak that was bound to be present on Rachel’s face. Rachel wouldn’t understand how much she has to be with Finn. She would love to be back together with Rachel like the way they were before she was forced away from her home. But things changed. Things always change, especially when you don’t want them to. So here she was: walking down the hall with her quarterback boyfriend, whom she believed she loved.

Rachel was putting her books away when all of a sudden her books were slapped out of her hands and her locker was slammed shut. She barely had time to move her fingers before they were caught in her locker door. Looking up at the two towering figures she silently cursed God above. Azimio and Karofsky were standing in front of her with slushies in their hands. She backed up against the lockers and with all the strength she could muster up said, “G-Good afternoon gentlemen. How can I help you?” Nervously she looked between them and the cups in their hands.

“We checked our watches and saw that it was time for your daily slushy facial, Tranny,” Azimio said with Karofsky nodding along.

“Being as this is your twenty-fifth slushy this school year, we’ve decided to make it a little more special,” Karofsky added.

By now Rachel was trembling. She prayed and prayed for them to just leave her alone, but yet here they were. “Can we please not?” They shook their heads then dumped the red slushies on her. Rachel felt something warm and gooey on her along with the cold ice from the slushy. Looking up through the substance she met a pair of eyes that would always anchor her. Quinn was standing with Finn watching her and the two football players and yet she just stood there, not doing anything. She couldn’t take it anymore she looked back at her tormentors.

“In case you were wondering why it’s warm and gooey, we added some eggs and some piss to it.” A collective gasp sounding around them. “Turns out, it’s a good look for you, Manhands.” Azimio laughed and high-fived Karofsky.

They dropped the cups at her feet and walked away leaving Rachel standing there with her head bowed down in utter humiliation. Her chin trembled as she felt tears rising to the surface and she didn’t even bother holding them back. But it wasn’t the degrading slushies they dumped on her that killed her. Sure they were a contributing factor, but what absolutely killed her was the fact that for once in her life, Quinn stood by and didn’t step forward and help her like she used to.

No.

Instead Quinn watched everything play out and didn’t move a muscle. Maybe Quinn had changed and wasn’t her Quinn anymore. Maybe she didn’t want to hang out with the school loser this time around. Maybe Quinn was truly just like them inside and she just has a different way of inflicting the pain and humiliation. Rachel only knew that whatever it was, she was now all alone.


	5. Regret

Quinn couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t do anything other than breathe, and she wasn’t even sure if she was breathing. All she knew was that she couldn’t get that scene out of her head. The scene from the hallway was plaguing her mind and wouldn’t give her a moment of rest. She hated herself the moment she allowed herself to stay in Finn’s arms instead of running to Rachel’s aid. She hated that she turned into this new girl; this new girl, who only dated the captain of the football team for popularity and for social status. This girl who deserted her best friend for a boy; a boy who used to join in and taunt Rachel before she came back and stole his attention.

And now the image of Rachel standing there alone in the hallway with egg, urine and slushy covering her from head to toe it…well; it tore her and broke her and destroyed her. What the hell is wrong with her? This isn’t her. She’s not this girl, right? She’s not! Is she?

The years she spent with her mom seemed to think so. At her new school she would be picked on for anything. Until she stood up for herself and put her bullies in their place. She then escalated to the top. And she swore that she would stay on the top no matter what it cost her. But she didn’t anticipate her mother getting cancer and dying before she finished high school. She knew her dad was thrilled to have her back and a part of her was happy to be back as well. And then there was that part that was dying to see Rachel, find out if she still lived in town, and if they were going to be classmates.

As soon as she stepped foot at McKinley, Sue Sylvester ordered her to join the Cheerios. She wasn’t one to reject the offer. Not when becoming a cheerleader came with popularity and the opportunity to stay at top like she wanted. And when that first morning practice was over, Sue promoted her to Captain because she reminded Sue of herself and she knew on instinct how ruthless Quinn could be. Quinn was Sue’s perfect image of a captain for her national ranking squad.

Quinn then ran into Santana Lopez, whom she remembered from her younger years, and they quickly became friends and Santana became her number two. Yes, things were moving quite fast for the blonde. But then it all came down around her when she had flicked her first slushy at her old girlfriend and best friend. Seeing Rachel again snapped something inside her and all she wanted to do was hug her and take care of her. And she did when they were in the bathroom alone.

And when Rachel took her hand and led her to the classroom she was a complete loss at what to do. She had a boyfriend; she couldn’t be seen with Rachel like this anymore. She had to protect her reputation now and her status as captain of the Cheerios. And if her mom had taught her anything over the years was that status meant everything. So she had chosen to drop her hand before anyone could see them and tried her best to distance herself from the singer. And then the rest of the day had gone downhill for the both of them, more so Rachel than Quinn.

So now here Quinn lay, staring at her ceiling with Rachel’s defeated face imprinted in her memory forever. Releasing a heavy sigh Quinn looked over at her clock and read the time it presented: ten twenty-five p.m. So much for trying to go to bed early, she thought as she rolled over and sat up. Flickering on her lamp light she pulled on a pair of sweats, put on her black-rimmed glasses and made her way downstairs.

When she reached the downstairs, she saw her father sitting in his leather chair with a book and notepad in his hands. As she watches him scribble away on the notepad she cracked a small smile. She had missed him more than anything else in Lima. He always had the answers for everything, and he had stood by Quinn even when her mother had taken her away from him. But now Quinn wonders if he would still stand by her after everything that transpired today.

Sucking in a silent deep breath she walked over to the couch and plopped down on it; swinging her feet up and unto the other end of the couch so she was lying across the cushions. “Dad?” she asked with a sense of hesitancy.

“Yes, Quinn?” He replied not taking his eyes off his pad and book as he scribbled down notes for work.

“Would you still love me if I did something that made you ashamed of me?” She slowly lifted her eyes up to meet Russell’s.

He closed his book and folded his notepad; he sat back and folded his arms. “What’s going on, honey?” He asked, his full undivided attention falling on his daughter.

She closed her eyes, removed her glasses and rubbed her eyelids with her hands. Placing her glasses back on her nose she sighed. “Please don’t be angry with me…”

“I promise. Quinn, honey what’s going on?”

Tears welled in her eyes. “I saw Rachel today…”

“And? I know the last time she and I talked she was excited to hear you were coming back.”

“And, I broke her heart.” She told him everything that transpired that day from making Captain to the kiss goodbye with Finn. When she was finished she had tears staining her cheeks. Quinn looked up at her father timidly, for the first time terrified about what he would say to her. It was the longest moment of silence in her life and she silently begged her father to end it and say something already. Yell at her or something, just end her misery.

Finally he released a deep breath and said calmly, “So you just stood there?”

“I-I…”

“And for what, popularity, being the top of the “social pyramid”?”

“I was just d-doing what mom told me to do…” She cried.

Russell stood up from his chair and grabbed his books. “Do NOT blame her for your actions! You are the disappointment here! I don’t even recognize you anymore, Quinn. You’re not the same little girl I remember. What happened to her? God, I can’t even look at you right now.” With that he left the room and Quinn just sat there hating herself even more than before.

Quinn checked her watch again and saw that it was eleven. God, can this day go any slower? She thought as she reached into her bag and pulled out her laptop. Logging on she checked her Facebook. She froze when she saw Rachel’s name and picture on the online list. She didn’t know what she should do. But her fingers had their own mind as she clicked on her name and typed out a single phrase that she was going to be using a lot.

Quinn: I’m sorry, Rachel.

Quinn stared at the small chat box and those words sent from her. She stared at them for five minutes before she brought moved the mouse to the log off button. The flashing blue light caught her attention and she looked down at the box.

Rachel: I am sorry, Quinn. I should’ve known better. I should’ve figured you changed. That’s what people do when they leave and come back. So, welcome back. And I’ll just see you in class. Please don’t talk to me.

Quinn: Please let me explain, Rachel.

Rachel: Not now, Quinn. I’m not ready, alright? Please just leave me alone.

Quinn: Rachel…p-please…

Rachel: Goodnight, Quinn.

Quinn: Please! I hate myself alright?! I hate me, you hate me, and my dad hates me. Tell me what I can do, Rachel! Please? Things did change when I lived with my mom, that much is true. She drilled certain things in my head and I believed her, alright? I’m sorry! And I wish I knew I had a better word for “sorry” but I don’t. God, Rachel. Just please tell me what I can do! Please! I need you to know how sorry I am. Please! Rachel?

Rachel: I need time Quinn. I thought I had you back this morning, and yet I don’t. So I need time. Time is what you can give me right now, Quinn. That’s all that you can give me right now. We’ll cross the next bridge when we come to it, but I need time. We need time.

Quinn: Rachel…

Rachel: I need time Quinn! That’s all you can give me right now!

Quinn: I really am sorry, Rachel. You have to know that.

Rachel: I’m tired, Quinn. Have a goodnight.

She then logged off before Quinn could say anything more.

Three weeks later, Quinn stood face to face with her boyfriend and said with tears in her eyes, “I’m pregnant.”


	6. I Still Love You

Quinn didn’t understand why her world fell apart. Everything had gone well until middle school where her parents divorced and she was forced to move with her mom, leaving behind Rachel and her father. She had joined Glee club, and that helped a bit but not really. Mostly it was torture. Sitting that close to Rachel but not being able to talk to her or pass notes, or even share subtle touches.

And now she’s making her way to her car after Cheerios practice and she doesn’t even see the tiny brunette walking out of the auditorium with a binder full of sheet music. Bumping into her she dropped her bag and saw sheet music spluttering around at her feet. Looking down she saw Rachel on her hands and knees picking up the papers and putting them back in order in her binder. “I’m sorry, Quinn. I didn’t even see you,” she hastily said as she collected the remaining papers.

“It’s alright; I wasn’t watching where I was going.” Quinn replied as she offered her hand to help Rachel up. Rachel stared at it then with some internal debate reached out and took it. Climbing to her feet she gave the blonde a nod of thanks. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Rachel.” She then began to walk away; a firm grip on her bag strap and her head bowed down slightly as she studied the ground she was walking.

Rachel stood there watching the defeated blonde walk down the hall and something snapped in her and caused her to chase after her. “Quinn! Quinn, wait!” She called and came to a stop in front of the girl. Hazel eyes looked up and made contact with brown for the first time in three weeks. “Is it true?”

“Y-Yes, it’s true. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go to a doctor’s appointment to confirm it,” Quinn stuttered out.

Rachel bit her lip then offered, “Would you like some company?”

Quinn’s heart fluttered at the question. “I thought you hated me... Why would you want to come?”

Rachel shrugged her shoulders then said, “You look like you need someone. And although our relationship hasn’t been the best over these past few weeks, I still love you.”

Quinn stared into unwavering brown eyes and began to feel tears prick her eyes. Here was this miraculous girl who should hate her and loathe her with every fiber of her being, and yet she was standing before her, offering some help because she loves her. Quinn’s heart felt like it could give out at any moment. “Rachel…I-I…”

“We’ll talk after your appointment, alright?” Quinn nodded and the two began to make their way towards Quinn’s car.

The drive to the hospital is full of Rachel talking about which songs would be suitable for which members of the Glee club. And if Quinn was being honest with herself, she enjoyed listening to Rachel talk about music. She had always been passionate about it, ever since she met her in kindergarten. “You have a lovely voice, Quinn. You should sing more in Glee. Mind you, your voice is occasionally sharp, but that’s just because you lack my years of training. I could help you, if you’d like?”

Quinn turned her attention to Rachel and cracked a soft smile. “Why are you being so nice to me?” Rachel was about to answer when she saw bright lights behind Quinn and then nothing.

Groggily Rachel stirred and slowly peeled her head off the cracked window. Groaning at the sharp pain in her head she began to sit up and reached up to touch the sticky, crimson blood on her right temple. Her vision was blurry and she couldn’t make out the scene before her only the sound of a blaring horn. She blinked hard and tried to get her vision to focus and she regretted it when her vision did focus and she saw broken glass and blood. Bringing her head up slowly she turned and looked over at the driver’s side and she felt her heart breaking like never before.

Quinn laid there blood running down her legs, her head resting to the side of the headrest; blood pooling from her head and from where she smacked her head against the window, which now didn’t hold any glass. But what terrified her the most was the fact that Quinn wasn’t moving. “Quinn,” she yelled out as she tried to unbuckle her seat belt quickly but failed many times.

Lights and heavy footsteps appeared and before she knew it she was dragged out of the car and forced unto a gurney to be rushed off the hospital, leaving behind the unconscious blonde. “No! I’m fine, get Quinn!” she kept trying to tell the paramedics who only told her that they needed her to calm down so they could check out her injuries.

And then before she could blink her eyes Rachel was sitting on a hospital gurney in the ER having her arm casted by a resident and having the cut over her left brow by her hairline being cleaned and tended to by an intern. The doctors had told her that they had to rush Quinn into surgery because her injuries were too severe, but that had been over an hour ago. Now she saw in the waiting room waiting for someone to come out and tell her how Quinn is. Rachel would laugh at the irony of getting in a crash on the way to the hospital, but she wasn’t in the mood. Not now, not while her old girlfriend and best friend was still in surgery and most likely lost the baby she was carrying, if she was pregnant.

Rachel stared aimlessly at the wall opposite of her. She didn’t even see the man who took a seat next to her until she felt a strong arm wrap around her shoulders and a familiar voice whispering, “She’s in good hands, Rachel. My colleagues are doing everything they possibly can. We just have to wait until she’s out of surgery. But she’s strong and stubborn just like me so she’ll pull through.” Sobbing, Rachel turned and buried her head into Russell’s chest and just cried as he held her in his arms.


End file.
